Direct Sales Requiem

Dedicated to Emily Majowka

Words: Scentsy, Wickless, Disney, Cruise, Director

Scentsy is an awesome direct sales company. Heck, at least I think so and I hope my customers agree. I’m sure they do, since they keep coming back. Some people think of this company as a pyramid scheme but not me. I’ve myself a successful career based on this one company. Oh, it wasn’t always easy, of course, but nothing that is worth it is ever easy or so some people like to ramble off.

This company is one that sells wickless candles. It’s like Avon but without all that dumb makeup crap! Ugh! No issues with makeup but those Avon broads tend to overdo it. Then again, so do most people nowadays.

Let’s get back to Scentsy. This year, they have a reunion in Disney and damn, I want to go badly. Like, you don’t know how bad I want this. This company is good on incentives. Their reunions are pretty good and this year’s incentive is a cruise in the Mediterranean. Heck, that’s a once in a lifetime thing for me. To get on this cruise and even get to the Disney reunion without paying for it out of pocket is to make Director status. I won’t bore you with the status and levels of the sellers in the company, but now that you have some background, let’s get to current events.

I really want all these things. It’s what I strive for. I will achieve them in anyway possible. I walked into the supermarket and handed a cashier my card. Not much good it will do, I don’t think, but anything’s possible I tend to do this when I leave tips at restaurants as well. Some people come through, others are just lost causes.

One day, a random woman approached me when I was walking down the street.

“Are you the scentsy lady?”

“Yes. Are you interested?”

“Yes. I would like to host a party at my place.”

“Great. Let me take out my cell phone. Okay, what’s your address and what time and date do you want the party?”

“Two weeks from today at 6pm. Does that work for you?”

“Of course,” I told her and scheduled her party in my phone.

“I will see you then. Oh, my name is Alyssa.”

“Nice to meet you.”

So with a party booked for two weeks from now, I was ecstatic. Perhaps I would win those incentives! As soon as I got back home, I sent invites to all of my contacts via facebook direct messaging, twitter, and even text messages. Heck, I even posted a picture of Scentsy with the details to contact me for the location of the party via Instagram. You can tell I really want those incentives can’t you?

Two weeks rolled by quickly, and I was at Alyssa’s house. So many people were there and I was not only shocked but highly impressed. Was this my reach or did Alyssa just have that many friends? No matter, I was going to do the best I could.

After presenting the items and playing games, people put orders in. Bummed however, because I didn’t think I made the incentive, Alyssa tried to cheer me up. She handed me a cup of sprite and I took it gratefully. I didn’t really drink soda but when a host offers you a cup of something, it’s impolite not to take it or so I thought to myself.

Alyssa and I talked through the night after I put the orders in. We got to know each other well, and my head started to get woozy. What? I looked at Alyssa who only smiled and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I replied and blinked.

I’m not sure how much time had passed, but I fell asleep or thought I did. When I woke up, I felt like I wasn’t me. I wasn’t sure what was going on. So instead I walked around trying to clear my head. Still, being in Alyssa’s house, I attempted to open the door and walk out. However, as soon as I got passed the front yard, I was immediately back in the living room I had fallen asleep in. That was strange.

I turned on Alyssa’s computer and logged into my account. Thrilled at seeing the results, I apparently made Director status and had won the incentives to go on the reunion trip to Disney and the Mediterranean cruise. The only thing on my mind was, why couldn’t I leave Alyssa’s house?

I tried walking out the door again. Once again, after I got passed the front yard, I ended up back in the living room. What the hell? Was I stuck in some eternal time loop? Alyssa came home at around 5pm that evening.

“Why can’t I leave?” I asked her.

She only smirked at me as she poured herself another cup of sprite. She sipped from it slowly and sat down in the kitchen which was across the room from the living room. She let out a short laugh.

“I can’t believe you haven’t figured it out yet,” she said.

“Figured what out?”

“Look under the couch.”

I just looked at her like she had ten heads. The couch was big enough to fit loads of things under it, but what she had in mind I had no idea. I got down on my hands and knees, looking directly at my own dead body.

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